I always really wanted people to like me. So, when my best friend offered me drugs in high school, I said yes to keep the friendship. What I thought would be a one-time thing quickly spiraled into regular use, and by the time I was well into my first career, I was using drugs daily. I quickly went from feeling like the coolest guy in the room to not even wanting to be in the room at all. I went to extremes to isolate myself, even sleeping in my own car, outside my own apartment, because I didn’t want to go in and disrupt the lives of my family.
My rock bottom came on the walk home after being fired. I felt completely and absolutely empty. The thought crossed my mind – should I jump in front of one of the 18-wheelers passing me on the interstate? I didn’t know how else to stop the pain drugs were causing me and the people I loved.
When I finally made it home, I googled six words that changed the course of my life: “how do I stop using drugs?”. The Healing Place was the first thing that popped up. I called and asked them to hold a bed for me, packed my bags, and was at CARITAS the next day to start The Healing Place program.
From the moment I got there, I kept hearing “we’ll love you until you learn how to love yourself.” I learned I wasn’t the only person in the world going through this. I started working my way through the program and began to feel human again.
As I made it through The Healing Place program and started CARITAS’ Works program, I felt my light come back on. I realized my strengths, learned how to lead, and found myself on a powerful journey of self-discovery. It was one of the most empowering things I’ve ever experienced.
After finishing the program, I had the opportunity to help people just like me by becoming a staff member at CARITAS through Recovery Corps. This was not something that I ever thought would be possible, but now it’s something I can’t imagine my life without.
To the people who have made all of this possible for me and countless others – without this place, I don’t know if I would be sitting here today. My mother has gained a son back. My children have gained a father back. My brother has gained a brother back. In recovery, I have gained trust, respect, inner peace, direction, self-worth, and joy.